


with sincere feeling

by mthslh



Category: The Idiot - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Genre: "platonic kissing", 30 Minute Fic, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Unpopular pairing, ganya can't not be gay, gets angsty at the end, if you like this i will die for you, ignoring myshkin and rogozhin's tension, unpopular fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-08 06:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21471211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthslh/pseuds/mthslh
Summary: myshkin and ganya's Platonic Bro Kiss, but it's more. full lines in italics are taken from the book.
Relationships: Lev Nikolaevich Myshkin/Gavril Ardalyonovich Ivolgin, Lyev Nikolaevich Myshkin/Gavril Ardalyonovich Ivolgin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	with sincere feeling

**Author's Note:**

> diverges around the Bro Kiss Scene- more notes at the end.

_The door opened and to their great surprise Ganya entered. He did not even hesitate at the sight of Varya. For a moment he stood in the doorway, then resolutely went up to Myshkin._

_"Prince, I behaved like a scoundrel. Forgive me, my fellow," he said suddenly with strong feeling._

_There was a look of great pain on his face. Myshkin looked at him in wonder and did not answer at once._

_"Come, forgive me-- forgive me!" Ganya urged impatiently. "I am ready to kiss your hand, if you like."_

Myshkin's throat tightened, overcome with emotion. He looked at Ganya in wonder not for his humility in begging for forgiveness, but because _this man,_ with the ginger hair a bit too long, the slightly scruffy beard, the sweetly hooked nose, wanted to kiss _him._

Well, not kiss, per se. It was an apology, a platonic thing. Myshkin's epilepsy had been enough to send him to a sanatorium-- he didn't want to be sent back because of a risk he took.

He was thinking too hard. Ganya's brown eyes shone at him expectantly. Varya silently excused himself from the room.

As if possessed, Myshkin took a step towards Ganya, and then another.

_Myshkin was greatly impressed and put both arms around Ganya without speaking._

Ganya's gaze faltered a bit, looking to his side, and darted back to Myshkin's face. He swiped his thumb directly under Myshkin's eye and Myshkin decided he never wanted to let go.

"Eyelash," he muttered in explanation.

"Oh," Myshkin breathed.

"Are you taking my offer, Lev, or not?"

With the mention of his name-- not Myshkin, not Dear Prince, just Lev-- Lev closed the small distance between them.

_They kissed with sincere feeling._

Ganya felt lovely, melting into Lev's kiss and embrace. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed back, tongue darting across Lev's lower lip, fingers gripping the longer curls sitting on the nape of Lev's neck. Lev never wanted to let go.

But alas, let go he did. They took a long moment to look at one another once more, Ganya's mouth tilting into a slightly crooked smile.

_"I had no idea--no idea you were like this," said Myshkin at last, breathing a deep breath. "I thought you were... incapable of it."_

_"Owning my fault?"_ With that, Ganya laughed.

"Yes, that," Lev played along. "That's all."

With that, Ganya's face fell. "I'm marrying her. I- I think I'm going to, at least."

"I'm not sure you should. I'm not sure..." Lev paused.

"Not sure of what? Not sure you could stomach it?"

"Not sure she loves you. Not sure she can give you... what you deserve. Even what you want. She lives with Totsky, for God's sake-- there would be rumors, if not a true affair."

"You can't speak of rumors. Not the way we are." Ganya gritted his teeth. "What I want is to stay quiet. I want a good wife and a good family. I want to be something extraordinary, not something disgusting, shunned from the world."

"I won't shun you," Lev said quietly.

"Oh, well that's wonderful. The outcast won't shun me! The sodomites won't hate me! How wonderful! I'm _quite_ pleased."

With that, Ganya softened. "I'm sorry, dear prince-- but we can't do this. We can't be together. Do you _want_ to be killed?"

"Better to be killed in love than die in tragedy." Lev smiled sadly. "I understand, Ganya. Be well." With that, he exited the room and went to Kolya, leaving Ganya miserable and alone.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm calling Myshkin "Lev," but other than that ALL references are from my Constance Garnett B&N Classics translation of The Idiot, so if you are confused maybe that's why. this scene is from pg 110-111 in the book, I'm just writing shit in between-- and I removed Varya from the room for plot reasons. also Agalya?? who's she??? i only know Ganya trying to force himself to marry a woman for the money and status.
> 
> (also!! ignoring the christian subtext and making it homoerotic. also!! !! !! i feel like Ganya is MUCH deeper in my head than in the novel. these are My Thoughts!!)


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